Words Matter

July 2026.

“Come ON, Kristine! We don’t have time for this! It’s not that hard!” our exasperated mom barked from the piano bench, frustration boiling over. I was about 8 at the time, and had been playing violin for 4 years. My sisters and I were rehearsing for a concert, with Mom accompanying us at the piano. It wasn’t going great. Everyone was on their last nerve, and I wanted to throw my violin out the window. We had train wrecked mid-phrase in the Rosenmueller, because I had miscounted and come in wrong, AGAIN.

Mom couldn’t have known that words spoken in a moment of frustration would take root in me as a negative stronghold that would play itself out for decades. It’s a helpful exercise for me AND my coaching clients to ask, was there a word spoken that got internalized, amplified, or twisted into something untrue? Can current anxiety be traced back to words you heard? I found myself echoing and exaggerating Mom’s words in the way I would talk to myself, or about myself: “I can’t do this,” I’ll never figure it out,” “I’m a loser,” and all of it leading to massive anxiety. I was completely unaware that this omnipresent inner critic was living rent free in my head, and was spilling out into the words I spoke.

Years later when I came to faith in Christ, my mind began to be transformed as well as my words. It was time to stop beating myself up with my words, but it would prove to be an ongoing process. It helped to ask myself, Where is this coming from? Is it helping me or tearing me down? I had been oblivious to what I was saying, but unfortunately, my brain had been paying attention…listening, processing that information, and believing it… to the point of shaping my actions around it. My own spoken words had created an anxious inner (and outer!) environment….that I needed to take responsibility for.

The Bible says this about words:

“Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

Our words align either with lies, or with truth. They can bless, or they can curse. We underestimate the effect our words have on both ourselves, and others. God cares about what we say! Let’s speak life! Faith! Hope! Encouragement! Truth!

“May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14.

The challenge: notice when the inner critic is talking smack, then say this instead, out loud: “If God be for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31